Creamy and Delicious?

I made a recipe for creamy sage-whiskey sauce tonight. While it was pretty tasty, I have some suggestions if you're ever going to attempt this recipe:

• DON'T substitute Bisquick for flour.
• DON'T substitute heavy whipping cream for evaporated milk.
  In the event that you have ignored my advice,
• DO expect to have triple bypass surgery the next morning.

Seriously. I can feel my arteries congealing. My days are numbered. My only hope is that the heart attack kills me before the Germans can cut my dick off.