Halloween Costume Construction Part 3

Tear up (5) heads of lettuce into large pile of leaves.

Lay out all leaves on newspapers to spray with clear coat. Discover that the "clear coat" you thought you bought has a green cap and is therefore green. Discover this at midnight. Drive 20 minutes to Meijer to buy an actual clear coat.

Notice ridiculous quantity of leaves. Notice author's regular inability to estimate. Realize that you do not have enough paint to coat all the leaves with clear coat. Realize this at 2:00 a.m. (when you have to be at work at 8:00). Drive 20 minutes BACK to Meijer to buy two more cans of clear coat. Finally, at 4:15 a.m., finish painting (BOTH SIDES) of all leaves.

Have a moment of guilt: people are starving all over the world, and you are spray-painting good edible food. Realize that lettuce offers almost no nutritional value, and feel better about yourself again.

Feel slightly bested that your roommate is welding his costume together, while yours is made of wire frame (see previous two posts). Then remember that YOU are the one who stayed up until 4:21 a.m. (with the alarm set for 7:00) to make your sweet Halloween costume.

Also keep in mind that said costume is far from finished.